I still work to give complete control of everything over to Him. I have come a long way, but I am far from perfect. He has given me a huge gift through my marriage and kids. Each of these relationships has helped me to grow. Learning to manage my health, learning how to be a wife, and learning how to parent three individuals has kept me close to Him. I don't have much figured out, but I know that I don't know what is coming next so I might as well do what I can today and trust Him for tomorrow.
He has shown up in the last 17 years in ways I would of never imagined. Even when I had my doubts that He had everything under control it has all worked out for His glory. Before we got married we talked a lot about our future and not knowing if I could have children it was important to me that my future husband was open to adopting. So we spent time dreaming of what our family would look like someday. I always pictured having many kids, but after the last two births it became clear that I wouldn't be having anymore kids. While the last few years have not been boring I felt like something was missing. God was working in my heart and prompting me toward adoption. I didn't really talk to Mr. Hauch about it because I knew he was content with our family the way that it was. So I finally told God "Leave me alone about adoption. Mr. Hauch isn't on the same page, so you need to either get him on board or leave me alone. You can't put this on my heart and not get him on board." I realize it might seem crazy to tell God this, but it was where I was at. So I went on with life thinking this was a done deal. After all I did tell God my feelings on it right?! I should know better than this by now!
Our church had a local adoption agency at church on orphan Sunday, with information tables set up. So imagine my surprise when Mr. Hauch says "Hey, think we should go stop by the tables and get some info?" Ummmmmm why? My reaction must of been something because it drew the attention of all the kids. So to the tables we went. This same Sunday we had been challenged in church to write something down that we felt like we needed to give over to God. So I went and wrote "Control" in the sand. I know I have given a lot of control over, but I also know that I cling to control as if I can make things better on my own?! At lunch the kids had a million questions about adoption and we answered most of them with "We have no idea what God is thinking, so we just need to pray!" So pray we did. A lot!!!!
Both Mr. Hauch and I are very analytical. We like facts, figures, data, spreadsheets, you know things that are conclusive. Well, we don't have any of that for this adventure. We only have broken hearts and a feeling that God isn't finished with our family. Each of our children has opened themselves to God's plan with such freedom and abandonment. The Faith of a Child!!! So we did what most people do who love facts, we gathered data and prayed. Then God kept bringing this one child in front of us. We requested more info and we got a full glimpse into this little child's life and we were broken for him. We continued to pray and then we came to this realization that God had done something I still don't understand. He created a love for this child that we have yet to meet. A love that we can't walk away from. A love that tells us that this is our boy.
So we sent a letter to China telling them of our intent to adopt this boy and asking them for permission. They gave us permission! We now race to get all the legal paperwork and government hoops jumped through to bring our boy home. Our hearts break that our little boy is half way around the world and we can't get to him just yet. God has carried this little guy before we even knew about him, so we trust that He will continue to care for him until we can get there. So our little family just grew!! We have plenty of love to give and plenty of fun to share, so why wouldn't we?
Here is our new little guy!!! We will call him "H" for now!
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